I haven't been writing for quite sometime. Was tied up to few things since the beginning of school holiday till the school opened again. I have started working 3 weeks already.
Currently, my baby is 36 weeks old inside my womb. Feels like I just got pregnant and going through the morning sickness stage. I remember vomiting endlessly, losing my appetite and even losing myself! I also remember how stressful I was when my husband suggested that maybe I should deliver our second baby in his hometown and stay there during confinement. I was really depressed.
I guess I knew how my husband felt whenever I insisted on going back to my parents' house. Same way like how I felt when we went back to his. We came from different family background and it is not easy to just assimilate everything and feel like you belong there too. That's why when he wanted to spend his whole Eid Mubarak break in his hometown I simply agreed. I want to make him happy.
I tried to fulfill his demands except on few things. He wants a baby boy and up until now, we don't know the gender of our baby. Again, I feel pressured. What if the baby isn't a boy? Is he going to accept the baby too? He is really amazing at criticizing and making people feel bad about themselves. Yes, for me, my husband is like that. Now, he made me feel worst about myself for not giving him what he wants - a baby boy. He kept on joking about finding new wife who could give him baby boy and so on.
Just to make the situation even 'better'... he wasn't the only one demanding for it. Seems like the whole family are expecting a male heir to their family. I wanted to run away from him at that time.
Time passes by and there are another 27 days to go before the arrival of my second baby. I did some shopping for the baby... mostly on clothing, bedding and blankets. I'm trying to give birth naturally this time. I have to undergo C-sect during Samira's. Hopefully this time, I got lucky. ^_^
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